“You are more than your hips and your thighs-”
These were the words of Cicely Tyson in the movie Madea’s Family Reunion. She was referring to the young girls that she saw dancing at the family reunion. She was trying to instill self worth inside of them.
This seems to be the problem with many of our young females today. They fail to realize and see themselves as the African queens that they are. Once again I want to remind you that I do not have all the answers but I want to talk about what we do know and see if maybe that has brought us to where we are today. Also I want to praise the black woman for her successes. (Because what would a note from a man on the black woman be without a little flattery ☻.)
A long time ago in early African civilizations the black woman was the most powerful figure in every tribe. Historians cannot quite put their fingers on the exact reason, but they have solid proof that the queen was the head figure in African society for a long time. Each tribe had its queen and she was in control of all the men. She was a dignified symbol of unrivaled power.
2008. Musical artist Algernod Lanier Washington, better know as Plies coins the term and song “Bust it Baby”. This term refers to a woman that he can have sex with at any time. She isn’t his girlfriend, he doesn’t love her, but she knows her place and all the other guys in town know that this is his “bust it baby”. This is a far cry from what women once were. From a symbol of power, to a sex symbol who knows her place. The real shocker is that his album Definition of Real was number two on the Billboard Charts, not because of men alone, but because of women who flock to buy and hear his music.
Today we see a lot of disturbing things from our young women and we usually blame it on music. But I want to argue that music is only a vehicle to expedite and showcase a mentality that already exists in our women that stems from a different source.
During slavery times our black women were abused. The men were too. But because of the inner makings of a woman, emotional and otherwise, in many ways it was worse. Black women were just as beautiful as they were today and the white slave owners were mesmerized by the hips and thighs that are so prevalent in many black women. This was something that they didn’t get in their own women and weren’t supposed to want since this was a quality that was trademarked by a LESSER RACE. But like everything else they wanted, they took these women. They raped them. They raped them and made them feel as if this was all that they were worth.The mind of the black woman had been altered forever.
The 60s ushered in Vietnam and the Heroine era. Many people ended up falling victim to this terrible drug and sadly black women were some of those people. The movie American Gangster, which chronicled the reign of Frank Lucas over the drug world in New York and surrounding areas, showed what women were reduced to during that time; working for drug dealers and pimps, often giving their bodies for money and drugs. During this time there were numerous accounts of women giving their little girls and boys to other people for sexual payment to obtain drugs.
The same thing is true of the Crack era of the late 70s and 80s. More and more little girls were being born into the world and seeing the women that they were supposed to be looking up to out in the street using their body to get what they want.
Also in the 70s a new revolution often referred to as the Female Sexual Revolution. This was a movement empower the woman, and counteract the ideal that men could sleep with whomever he wanted but women who did the same thing were whores. So, women began to think that if you liked a man you should pursue him and sleep with him. The idea was that women should have the same sexual rights as men. I am always a fan of empowerment but the entire premise of this movement was debilitating to the female gender overall and idiotic to say the least. My mother was raised on a principle that is mostly absent in the rearing of females today. If a man and woman both play in a ditch and get muddy, that man can come out of the ditch and wash himself off and get any woman he wants. But the woman will never be able to wash all of the mud off of her body and move on. This was a metaphor that my mother’s grandmother used to explain the danger of female sexual promiscuity. The women who participated in this “revolution” were never able to wash all of the mud that they acquired in this metaphorical “ditch”.
Also as I mentioned in my last note the absence of men in their homes, for various reasons, has contributed to the mindset of young black women. Little girls without a father yearn for the love and attention of a man that they should in the home but cannot because there isn’t a man present. Sometimes these girls can escape this pitfall unscathed but more often than not they end up seeking out men who take advantage of their vulnerability. They sleep with these women and leave them (many times with a child). Not only does this add to the statistic of single black mothers but it also degrades them and steals a chunk of their self worth.
Another problem is that some of these single black mothers will do anything to make money and raise their children. Prostitution, stripping, and anything else that will put food on the table for their kids, are all an option. I love the willpower of these women to make it but at the same time they are allowing the same beauty that cursed them during slavery to cage them and degrade once again.
Many women become video girls in order to make ends meet for their little children. Many do this to pay for school and make a life for themselves. But the fact of the matter is that the younger girls are watching. They see these gorgeous women on television and they see the men ogle over them. I have heard little black girls say that they want to grow up to be a video girl or a stripper. Do you think little white girls ever have these dreams? No. They grow up wanting to lawyers and doctors. But we as a race have failed to help our children have a vision. They can’t see further than the front door. They see men objectifying women and they realize that they can get whatever they want if they use their body and their beauty to get it. So why even try? Why work hard in school?
Until women stop allowing men to use them as sex symbols, and inject themselves with self worth, things will never change. When women begin to say, “I am more than my hips and my thighs” and demand that men pay attention to their mind, then things will change.
The black women that are successful claim that men are threatened by their success. That is true for a certain demographic of black men. They aren’t used to seeing black women in that capacity and it scares them. They are used to seeing black women with chocolate running down their breast and another woman licking it off (see 50 Cent’s “Candy Shop”). But do not get weary in well doing. Once men see that a powerful woman is not the exception but the rule they will wake up and take note!
We have black women that have gone very far. One example is Condoleezza Rice, United States Secretary of State. She has fought hard for her position and like her or not she is a shining beacon of where black women can go. The same can be said for Oprah Winfrey.
In conclusion, I want to ensure my readers that I am not talking down on the black single mother at all! As I said in my last note without them there is no telling where the black race would be. As a matter fact I want to shout out all the single black mothers that I know because to my knowledge you all have found the means to provide for your children “the right way”.
I want to challenge men to respect our young women. I also challenge you to inculcate our younger black generation to do the same. We must not allow the continuation of the degradation of our females to be blood on our hands.
These are strictly my opinions from what I know and see going on in the world. There are a myriad of opinions, all of which are a possible motive for murder of the self-respect of our black women. My aim is to get us thinking! Not thinking is our worst enemy in the progression of the black race.
Amen?
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